Apparently, the Poop Tool was created to show people how much poop they would have to produce to use up their COVID-19 toilet paper stock. While the tool has been featured by the BBC, Vice and Time Out it’s maybe less clever and more self-conscious than it would appear. We get it: in light of the unprecedented Covid-19 situation, the global outbreak has led to uncontrolled panic buying, especially when it comes to the toilet paper. But the tool, while minutely fun, seems a little self-consciously cool and not-quite-accurate.
“The main purpose of this tool is to help people realize that they have way more toilet paper than they actually need to survive the quarantine,” they say in a press release. Yet I’m fairly certain the 12 rolls currently held by my two-person household would not last the 72 days the Poop Tool promises. Nor should it, at that level, qualify me as the “Pretty Heavy Defecator” my dozen rolls (my normal stock, btw: CoronaVirus notwithstanding) pronounces me at.
Want to check the calculator? It’s here. Just take it all with a grain of salt, or whatever else is appropriate. ◊